My Life as an Elitist

Elitism:
is the belief or attitude that some individuals, who supposedly form an elite —
a select group of people with, intellect, wealth, specialized training or
experience, or other distinctive attributes. (thanks wikipedia)

After a wonderful vacation I have decided that I want to become and elitist. The question is how does one go about becoming an elitist. Of course the best way to figure this out would be to ask google because of course google knows everything.

Thanks google, but not really what I was thinking of when I said I wanted to be an elitist. If I was to become a member of this society of wealthy and affluent (not the satanic life power one, though google) this is what I would do.

Day 1: Sleep late, wake up to freshly brewed Timmie Ho's coffee waiting for me with the crossword of the day. Shuffle out to my veranda in my jammies, drink said coffee and kick the ass of said crossword puzzle. Go for a swim. Snuggle with my fiance (who by the time I manage become an elitist will probably be my hubby). Eat something yummy for dinner. Go back the the veranda for some evening reading (made even write my own book).

Day Two: Start the same as day one but this time include a chocolate chip muffin of outlandish proportions from Coffee Time. Apparently I have a servant running around to various parts of the globe to get me things from specific places, but considering I'm an elitist of course I have a servant though he is probably more of a slave. Work on a project of my choice some sort of elitist arts and craft (maybe I will knit Fido a sweater, but then I hate dogs so I will be original and knit my cat a sweater). Adopt a child from some obscure part of the world, because that's what elitists do don't yanno. Spend my afternoon with hubby/finance walking the beach with our newly adopted child so all the newspapers can see making it to the front page of the Globe is the best way to determine whether or not you have accomplished becoming an elitist. Go to some fancy soiree with my hybrid HUBBYfiance.

Day 3: Tell the world I support World Peace, of course at some point after I have had my coffee, muffin, crossword and snuggle with my fiance/Hubby. Be so exhausted from being rich I am forced to spend the afternoon at a spa recovering from the overwhelming responsibility of being elite.

Day 4: Adopt a jagalion

Day 5: Start an society for elitists like myself who want nothing more than coffee, muffins, and crossword puzzles on the veranda.

Day 6: Realize that my veranda does not overlook the ocean as it should, but all the land around my veranda and build an ocean.

Day 7: After finishing my crossword puzzle go swimming in newly built ocean.

Day 8: Repeat days 1-7

I think that I would make a perfectly charming member of the elite, now I must begin my quest to become an Elitist, which may prove difficult as Google refuses to help me in this quest. Google you cannot stop me, I have the power to ....... wait without google I am nothing......

It's not me it's you

Dear Blog,
I know we have had a wonderful relationship and all. With me being your ever faithful beu, but I can't say I've really got a lot out of it. Maybe you jsut weren't trying hard enough to make me love you. Maybe you just didn't do enough, I mean come on when was the last time you bought me flowers.


NEVER!!
Unless you start treating me like a princess we are DONE!!!

xoxo
Me

Never Say Die

I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting. I will write something interesting.

SOMETHING INTERESTING

Ok but seriously I am really proud of myself for remembering that this blog even existed after the long holiday weekend. Also I love thinking that this blog is simply a way of amusing myself since even my loving fiance doesn't read it. If the man who foolishly decided that he wants to put up with me the rest of my life doesn't care enough to read it no one else will. Of course simply because I wrote that he'll come home from work and read this. Just in case ~ I love you hun~. This has become simply my way of killing time and not starting work on my senior thesis. Mainly because I stick to a topic, and with this I can just blab on about nothing and it won't matter because no one is insane enough to attempt to read this.

I also thoroughly enjoy coming up with completely random tags that ave absolutely nothing to do with anything. But hey I try right.

In other news moving is not a fun chore. Especially when the place you are moving into is not renovated as promised and the water in the tub is a awkward bright blue (as if a smurf died in the pipes or some such nonsense).

Commitment Issues

There is a difference between being committed and having the burning desire to follow through with what you started. Committing requires some sort of interest in what you are doing, and following through just requires tenacity. At the moment I am teetering somewhere between commitment and tenacity. I currently enjoying feeling like an awesome writer, but I also doubt that I am truly an awesome writer. Therefore writing this post is more of a stellar example of my tenacity.

Speaking of commitment issues (I have no idea what this has to do with commitment, but roll with it), Robert Pattison is NOT hot.

Johnny Depp is hot, Robert Pattison is just a pale little boy-girl. Since when is looking like an albino in anyway attractive. I mean being a little pale twig of a human really isn't something to admire.

Not Hot:

Smokin' Hot:

Ok enough said. I would say sorry to any twilight fans that ever stumble across this but A) I am not sorry AND B) I have no readers at the moment. So SUCK IT Robert Pattison! You are ugly and at the very least I know it.

Relationship Expectations

Dear Blog,

I really don't see this relationship being a long one in fact I see this relationship going something like this.

Day 1: Decide that I am a super duper awesome writer and that I have all sorts of awesome things to say, so I will make a totally groovy (awesome writers don't use the same word twice in a sentence) blogger. All this stemming from the fact that I love reading Hyperbole and a Half and I want to be awesome like Allie.

Day 2: Create a free blog. Give it a cool name find that name is already taken so give it a not so cool name.

Day 3: Write what I deem at the time to be momentous beginning to the BLOG OF BLOGS!

Day 4: Not be able to think of anything to write about, decide that the momentous beginning was really more of a desperate attempt to be awesome that failed miserably.

Day 5: Post something whinny about my failed relationships and something proud about the fact that I am marrying the world's greatest man.

Day 6: Forget that this blog even exists.

Day 512: Refer to Day 1, but this will happen 506 days into the future.

Day 513: Realize that I have successfully killed 4 blogs at this point and yet still repeat the cycle.

Sorry that this is the way it has to be, but at least I am being honest with you and not promising a wonderful relationship to span lifetimes and galaxies.


Love,
Kathleen