My Life as an Elitist

Elitism:
is the belief or attitude that some individuals, who supposedly form an elite —
a select group of people with, intellect, wealth, specialized training or
experience, or other distinctive attributes. (thanks wikipedia)

After a wonderful vacation I have decided that I want to become and elitist. The question is how does one go about becoming an elitist. Of course the best way to figure this out would be to ask google because of course google knows everything.

Thanks google, but not really what I was thinking of when I said I wanted to be an elitist. If I was to become a member of this society of wealthy and affluent (not the satanic life power one, though google) this is what I would do.

Day 1: Sleep late, wake up to freshly brewed Timmie Ho's coffee waiting for me with the crossword of the day. Shuffle out to my veranda in my jammies, drink said coffee and kick the ass of said crossword puzzle. Go for a swim. Snuggle with my fiance (who by the time I manage become an elitist will probably be my hubby). Eat something yummy for dinner. Go back the the veranda for some evening reading (made even write my own book).

Day Two: Start the same as day one but this time include a chocolate chip muffin of outlandish proportions from Coffee Time. Apparently I have a servant running around to various parts of the globe to get me things from specific places, but considering I'm an elitist of course I have a servant though he is probably more of a slave. Work on a project of my choice some sort of elitist arts and craft (maybe I will knit Fido a sweater, but then I hate dogs so I will be original and knit my cat a sweater). Adopt a child from some obscure part of the world, because that's what elitists do don't yanno. Spend my afternoon with hubby/finance walking the beach with our newly adopted child so all the newspapers can see making it to the front page of the Globe is the best way to determine whether or not you have accomplished becoming an elitist. Go to some fancy soiree with my hybrid HUBBYfiance.

Day 3: Tell the world I support World Peace, of course at some point after I have had my coffee, muffin, crossword and snuggle with my fiance/Hubby. Be so exhausted from being rich I am forced to spend the afternoon at a spa recovering from the overwhelming responsibility of being elite.

Day 4: Adopt a jagalion

Day 5: Start an society for elitists like myself who want nothing more than coffee, muffins, and crossword puzzles on the veranda.

Day 6: Realize that my veranda does not overlook the ocean as it should, but all the land around my veranda and build an ocean.

Day 7: After finishing my crossword puzzle go swimming in newly built ocean.

Day 8: Repeat days 1-7

I think that I would make a perfectly charming member of the elite, now I must begin my quest to become an Elitist, which may prove difficult as Google refuses to help me in this quest. Google you cannot stop me, I have the power to ....... wait without google I am nothing......